Mindy: Welcome to the BiggerPockets Money Podcast where we interview AJ Williams and talk about the actual cost of weddings. Hello, hello, hello. My name is Scott Trench and with me today is my also married co-host, Amanda Wolf. How are you doing today, Amanda?
Doing great.
Scott: Awesome. Amanda and I are here to make financial independence less scary. Less just for somebody else. to introduce you to every money story because we truly believe financial freedom is attainable for everyone, no matter when or where you’re starting.
Mindy: Whether you want to retire early and travel the world, go on to make big time investments in assets like real estate, or throw your dream wedding, we’ll help you reach your financial goals and get money out of the way so you can launch yourself towards your dreams.
Scott: All right, we have a new segment of the show called the money moment where we share a money hack, tip, or trick to help you on your financial journey. And today’s money moment is, have a spending buddy. If you are an impulsive spender or are having trouble justifying a large purchase, have a friend, family member, or partner you check in with prior to making those large purchases. This sounds silly, but it may help you take a moment of reflection to determine if the purchase is actually worth it. Do you have a money tip for us? Email moneymoment@biggerpockets.com. All right, before we bring in AJ, you know, I I thought it’d be fun to just kind of quickly talk about at a high level, um, our our weddings, Amanda. Um, I know you recently got married. When when was that?
Mindy: So, I got married last June. So, we just had our one-year anniversary like two weeks ago, June 26th, and, oh my gosh, I’ve just been daydreaming about that day. It was one of the best, most favorite days of my life, ever.
Scott: Awesome. And where’d you do it? What was it like?
Mindy: Oh, it was incredible. So, we did it in Lake Como, Italy. So, um, we both are, you know, very into traveling and outdoors and we’re at a point in our life where we’re like, you know, we want to go somewhere really beautiful, somewhere with mountains and a lake. We started exploring and found Lake Como, Italy. And, you know, we, like I said, it was honestly a like a dream come true. We just made sure that all of our non-negotiables, our best friends and, you know, family members could make it and then we just went from there, pulled the trigger and best time of our entire lives. Yeah. Just hit the one-year anniversary.
Scott: Awesome. Yeah. How long have you been married, Scott?
Mindy: Uh, I’ve been married almost three years, coming up on, two and a half years, uh, coming up on three years in November. Um, we got married during COVID and so we got engaged in late 2019 and we’re planning kind of that 150, you know, ish odd person wedding here in Colorado, nearby where we live. And then of course, the pandemic strikes. So we had to move our wedding back, change venues, and um get a place where we could do kind of a streaming reception and we had to narrow it to, I think it was close to 20 people. So, um we had a very intimate small wedding locally here with a largely a lot of friends, a couple couple folks flew in, um but a lot of a lot of folks that we were in a community that we were still kind of interacting with to a degree here in Denver during that time. So, small intimate wedding, it ended up being beautiful and wonderful, but um, we definitely were one of those folks that got uh the plans changed because of the the pandemic environment there.
Yeah, and so I feel like a lot of people who had COVID weddings ended up having an intimate ceremony like you just mentioned, but then also ended up having a second one post-COVID where they had the all-out one. Did you guys decide, you know what, no, we’re done. We’re going to take all that money we saved and invest in some real estate or stocks or what have you? Or did you guys plan to have another one? Or how did that conversation go?
Scott: Well, so we went with a wedding planning company and so we were probably going to be in that like median range for weddings. Um, but we ended up being a little cheaper because of the uh whole uh guest list shrinking from 150 to like 25, 20, 20 to 30 or something like that. So that that definitely made things more affordable. We because we got married in 2020, I feel like a lot of our friends who did like the what you just described, they were more like 2021, 2022, um, weddings where they where they were doing those kinds of things because there was still more of that. But there was just no line of sight if you’re if you recall in 2020 to when that was going to happen. So we never ended up doing the uh the bigger one. I think we were we were delighted with how our our smaller intimate one turned out, although it would have been great to have, you know, more more of the extended family there.
Mindy: Yeah. And I think it’s so interesting too because after COVID, everyone had the small intimate weddings and then once we could start going outside again, I feel like the weddings, um, that took place, everybody came. So I know for us, we invited, I think it was like 105 people and 92 came to Italy. That was, I mean, it was incredible. Everybody who we wanted there basically ended up getting to come. But I thought that was like really like surprising because most people, you know, you always hear like, oh, like 75% of people come. So I think that’s really interesting. So I feel like you probably saved yourself a ton by stripping it down, doing the virtual, and just keeping it there because probably everybody would have come.
Scott: Yeah, I bet you it’s a combination with the with everyone showing up to these weddings of two things. One, people uh wanting to just get out because they’ve been cooped up for a couple years because of the pandemic. And two, nobody had any plans, right? So you’re probably planning your wedding long enough in advance, nobody has any plans at that point a year out or whatever. So everyone can come. So I think it’s been uh that’s probably a wonderful thing to have everybody, everybody showing up who’s invited to a lot of these weddings.
Mindy: Yeah, it was amazing. It was incredible.
Scott: All right, Amanda. Well, should we go ahead and bring AJ in and talk uh more in depth about weddings?
Mindy: Let’s do it. Let’s get some insider info.
Scott: AJ Williams was named a Bizbash 500 most influential event pro in the US. AJ has built a strong track record and has worked with celebrities including John Bon Jovi, President Clinton, Queen Latifa, and the Eagles. Uh that’s probably the band, not uh my Philadelphia Eagles and Birds. In addition, she has raised $76 million for nonprofits through her event business. AJ, welcome to the Bigger Pockets Money podcast. We are so excited to have you here.
Guest: Hi, thank you for having me.
Scott: AJ, to kick things off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got started in planning events and weddings?
Guest: Sure, sure. So I’ve been in the wedding and event business for over 30 years. Um, I basically started planning events when I was in high school. Um for those of you that are, you know, in my age group or older. Um my high school year book dubbed me as Julie McCoy from the Love Boat. Um so planning is definitely in my in my DNA. Um and I start I got started uh planning events for the Miss USA and the Miss Teen USA pageants for for four New England states for many years before I started my business.
Mindy: That is incredible. That is a really long time. I have a question. So generally speaking, how have you seen since you’ve just been an event planner your entire life, basically, how have weddings and events, how have they changed in the past 10 to like 15-ish years? Are you seeing couples like waiting to get married so they’re a little more financially secure or what does that look like?
Guest: So there are a lot of dynamics that have changed in weddings and events because of social media and then recently with COVID, um, you know, because of COVID, people are just thinking a little bit more closely about what they want to do and what’s more important to them rather than rushing through the experience and taking more time in their budgets, you know, to plan and and planning more intimate events. But over the course of the last 10 years with social media and the help of Instagram, um, it has really taken events to the next level and a lot of people want the all the extras, the extra flowers or the Instagrammable moments that really make their event, um, just very fun and exciting and a little bit, you know, over the top for what, you know, they like.
Mindy: Yeah, and so, and what about the actual like wedding season? Because, you know, we all want those Pinterest-worthy weddings, those Instagrammable weddings. Do you feel like the wedding season has changed because I think it used to really be like summer time, right? I actually got married last summer and, you know, for me, I’m like, oh, I can’t imagine not having a warm, nice sunny day. But do you feel like the wedding season has changed? Are they getting married or people getting married more throughout the year or is it still primarily summertime?
Guest: I mean, depending on where you are geographically, you have your, you have your two focused months. I’m here in New England, so June and September are hot months. Um, but because of COVID and because people are just getting a little bit more savvy, they’re planning their events all throughout the year now. Um, they’re going overseas or they’re going to destinations where they can have um, you know, their events in March in a cool destination, um, that has low peak time that they can, you know, um, celebrate their wedding nuptuals there, or they’re going to the Caribbean or Mexico or Italy, um, in October as opposed to going to the Caribbean in March when the weather is really, really great. Um, or they’re just going to their, you know, family destinations. I do a lot of events in Nan Tucket. So between the months of um, June and October, this is really our wedding season here. Um but we’ve seen more weddings outside of the peak season, um happen because everybody just wants to plan their event whenever they want to.
Mindy: Yeah. And I love, I love that you, I love that you mentioned the destination wedding too because I got married last summer in Italy. So when you call that destination, I was like, that’s where I got married. And I believe didn’t you just get married, um, as well internationally?
Guest: I did.
Mindy: Yay, congrats.
Guest: After three years through COVID and um building a house, uh we I basically said, listen, honey, if we don’t get married in March, I’m going to have three weddings. One on Nantucket, one in Boston, and one in the Caribbean. So he he he gave me the go ahead to plan the wedding.
Mindy: Let’s go forward. And and let me ask you then since you are the wedding planner, I felt like when I was looking around at planning my wedding. So I live in Chicago. I actually felt like it was more affordable overseas. Do you think that weddings are more affordable internationally um versus you know, having them in the United States?
Guest: So some aspects of planning events internationally are more affordable, especially when you’re working with local vendors. But in the case of like my wedding, I wanted certain things. So, um, I I had a 40 foot container with, you know, the brandable items and the custom items that I wanted for my event. Um and it was expensive to ship and then it was expensive because of uh customs. But I got exactly what I wanted for my wedding while using local vendors and, you know, that helped bring the cost down overall for the wedding, but um, yeah, there there was a little give and take there.
Scott: So, you know, I, I uh it’ll take me a second to frame here, but when I graduated from high school in 2009, we were the largest graduating class of that time period. A lot of my friends and peers got married around the same time I did in 2020, 2021, 2022, the the pandemic years. And um we did not do this, but some of them did uh some did something to the following effect. Like just what you said, AJ, where they would have, they would basically elope, then they’d have a small intimate wedding, and then later after kind of things eased up a little bit, they had a big wedding. Did you see a lot of that? And how is that affecting kind of the demand and the need to plan um relentlessly years in advance? Is that pressure sort of relenting to some degree? Are you seeing that?
Guest: That trend is very popular and it was extremely popular last year and it almost killed like we it it almost killed us. Like everybody in the event industry, whether you were a rental company or you were an audio visual company and a planner, a florist. Uh 2022 was uh, you know, you hear about Great Gatsby and everyone was, you know, wanting to have all of their events. It was it was everybody, they and their mother and daughter and their friend. I mean everybody wanted to have an event in 2022. But Scott, to your point, there were a lot of weddings where they had small intimate weddings or virtual weddings, or they just wanted to elope and have that bigger wedding when it was time and that was in 2022, um, where everyone was like, okay, this is the year we’re going to have our wedding, our big wedding, um, like everybody else. And so 2022 was a very, very challenging year for our event industry. We went from zero percent to like I think 400% and it was, it really maxed us out. Um, I’m really happy that 2023 is um, more manageable. But I do love that trend. I love the idea of um, having an intimate ceremony with, you know, close friends, your besties or just family and then, you know, just having a a more uh full reception event with, you know, everybody that you love.
Scott: Do you think that trend will continue um in 2024? Will it be easier again in 2025? Will it be easier still, so on and so forth? Because of that long-term demographic tale I mentioned where I think that the generation like like it’s just I think millennials got married older, but that’s probably starting to wind down a little bit and Gen Z is not quite as big or do you think that the pressure is going to be there for a long time and and weddings are going to continue to increase in in cost and complexity here?
Guest: Well, weddings are definitely going to increase in complexity and and cost, you know, um, uh, the supply and demand has definitely gotten better, but um I do feel that more people are thinking more closely about how they want to marry and what they want their events to look like. Uh so we are seeing more people going back to what weddings used to be, just with a lot more flair and fun and customization.
Mindy: So, in 2022, we see all the data that says the average cost of a wedding was $30,000. But whenever I see that, I’m like, what is average? What is an average wedding? What does that entail? What is the average guest count? What is the venue? Where are these averages coming from?
Guest: I think uh when you’re thinking about averages, the average really has to do with the entire United States. So if you go to one state, that average might be 8,000 or 10,000, but if you go to another one, it might be 75. Uh so that’s where the average 30,000 um takes into account. So it may not make sense to someone that’s living in New York, uh, you know, in New York City, I should say, as opposed to upstate New York. Um so if that makes, you know, sense, but I think average weddings, if you want to look at what an average wedding gets you, it just really gets you an a a really nice wedding, um without the customization, without the additional flowers, um and a pretty focused, um, budget.
Scott: So, you know, you, you uh so first of all, we’re talking about average is $30,000. The likely events like the ones that you put on, AJ, are bringing that average up and the median costs, right, the one that the typical wedding may actually be even less expensive than that $30,000. We’re not have to look up that stat um and see if we can find it. Um but what is the average quote unquote cost of a uh a a wedding with an elite wedding and event planner such as yourself in a Nanit or similar setting?
Guest: I would say the average upscale wedding could run you anywhere from $200,000 to half a million dollars and more.
Mindy: And who pays for this wedding? Is your is your client typically the bride and groom or are their parents that are involved in these kind of elite weddings that you see that fill up Instagram and social media and these kinds of things?
Guest: So it depends. A lot of my clients are the bride and groom um and sometimes they have assistance from parents or it is, you know, the parents that are paying for for everything. So it’s a little bit of a mix. It depends on where the bride and groom are in their careers and financially. Um, and a lot of, I think a lot of brides and grooms couples are choosing the independence route when it comes to paying their wedding. They’re being more financially responsible for for their event, um, with a little bit of assistance.
Mindy: I think that that number you just said will shock probably a lot of people. It shocked me, that’s for sure. So where is the majority of that money being spent? And I know it can vary but like majority, where is the 200 to half a million dollars being spent?
Guest: Well, what I usually tell my couples is when we start talking about budgets and what their what their number is. I always tell them you should plan on 30% higher than that because there might be something that they may want, you know, later um past this point in time in our conversation, um that may add to the budget or um, you know, when you’re dealing with destination events, there are things that may be more costly because you have to ship them over to the island. Um or yeah you may need to have a backup plan in in in regards to weather. So there are a lot of factors that come into play, um other than just a a nice nicety that they may want to add on like um a a large floral installation with orchids over the dance floor or a dance floor wrap or a um or stage fronts that are um that are um infused with beautiful flowers and and lighting or they want a headline band to now come, um, and perform at their their event. So sometimes they think, okay, I want this band, um, that’s $30,000, but they didn’t think that the band would cost another $30,000 because of the cost of the instruments, which is back line, and the cost of shipping it over or the audio visual or the setup and, you know, it’s it’s those type of expenses that sometimes are not accounted for. But that’s how planners guide their their couples, um, alongside with them with the budget.
Mindy: Right, because you don’t know what you don’t know, right? So, um, what percent of couples actually stay within the budget that they set during that initial conversation with you?
Guest: I would say most people, they usually stay within that budget plus 30%.
Mindy: Plus 30%. So, all of you out there, whatever you have budgeted add 30% because you don’t know what you don’t know. Okay, interesting.
Scott: Okay, so, so my budget is $30,000 making this up, right? Uh, which is still it seems incredibly expensive. um, but my budget’s $30,000 and that’s after the 30%. So I’ve I’ve I’ve come into you with a $20,000 budget and you said bump it up to 30 for contingencies. What are, what are some of the things that you feel are must-haves at these events that would that would give you the best bang for your buck at that level of spend? What are, what how would you prioritize the the big ticket items there?
Guest: Entertainment, great sound during your ceremony because you want you know, everyone to hear you and that’s usually something that is missed and not thought of. Um that’s one of the things we usually have to add on to the budget at the beginning of the process because it’s not normally thought of. But um I would say you want to spend your dollars on great entertainment and surprise elements because those are conversational, um, pieces that will last long after the event and what people will remember from your wedding and what and and honestly, the couple’s takeaway from the wedding as well. You want to spend more of your dollars where your guests are going to spend the most amount of time at. So that’s really dinner and dancing, right? So, um making sure that they’re entertained and they’re having fun as much as possible during the event. So it’s like the accents and the little surprise elements, um maybe it’s adding on three horns that come into um the dance floor that add elements of surprise and wow people while they’re dancing. Uh so it’s it’s it’s those elements that really I think that are important, um, you know, to uh, you know, add on to the budget.
Mindy: Then then on the flip side, we have to say, what would you cut? So say someone was a little more budget conscious or there were some of those little extra entertainment pieces that you mentioned that they really want to go all in on. Where would you recommend people cut their budget?
Guest: I would say flowers. So, um we recently had a wedding um and we had to cut dollars um to make our contingency plan may work. So we just adjusted the um the ceiling treatments uh to make sure that they were all greenery instead of um, you know, basically orchids and roses and different flowers and hydrange hanging from the ceiling. So we just went with with uh greenery instead and and it was honestly just as beautiful. We just we added lighting. We basically removed lighting from an area and made the lighting shine onto the um hanging center piece over the dance floor and it was just as beautiful.
Mindy: I love that. Okay, do you have any other like suggestions or tips um like that where substituting greenery versus flowers since flowers, those can get out of control. When I saw the the cost of flowers and I was planning a wedding, I was like, what? So are there any other tips like like you just mentioned with the greenery and the lights that um that you could offer up to people?
Guest: I would say if you really had to cut um an item, think about your bar um and perhaps a wine service uh you know, upon during the cocktail hour and keep it um instead of doing a full bar um during your cocktail hour. That can save you a lot of dollars. And it can also help to keep if you have a really high energy crowd as well, it can it can also keep your um your attendees a little bit more grounded before they get on the dance floor because, you know, during dinner people are still drinking, um and you can focus that on wine as well, but once they hit the dance floor, um you can go back to, you know, your full bar. I think you’ll be fine there. People are pretty understanding when it comes to um the cocktail hour and uh not having a full bar.
Scott: I I mentioned earlier how uh some friends had the multiple weddings. We op we, you know, we were planning to have a larger wedding with, you know, many extended friends and family members, those kinds of things. And then we got uh my wife and I got married in uh November 2020. So, we decided to have a a very small intimate um wedding with just friends that we were, you know, and and and uh parents and immediate siblings and those kinds of things. Um, but are you seeing that the guest lists are compressing to a certain degree in weddings at all as a result maybe of the pandemic and the aftermath of of those things? Are you know, are are are there folks kind of following suit even in the absence of the the full full-fledged pandemic here?
Guest: I think, um, I think people are just going all out right now. Um I would say the the year right after, I would say in 2022, maybe 2021 when uh weddings were starting to come back, people thought about their wedding’s a little bit more intimately. Um I mean, even for our wedding a few months ago, we only thought 40 people were going to come to our wedding and uh we had just over 80. And um, you know, people just wanted to come, they wanted to go, they wanted to be there and um and enjoy that special moment with you. Um, I do feel that people just, you know, really just want to be with the people that they love and have a great time and party. Um, so I don’t I don’t really see that congested list anymore. We’re we’re actually having a lot of trouble finding, um, it’s very it’s challenging finding venues that can hold our guest counts because it feels like most of them are 250 to 350 now.
Mindy: Oh my goodness. How do you even know that many people?
Guest: Well, it’s it’s not necessarily always the couples, but it’s it’s the parents too that want to invite their friends so they can see how amazing, you know, their children are getting and in this this beautiful couple is coming together. So it’s like they’re entertaining their friends as well, watching them watching their their children get married.
Scott: Okay, so, so does that mean that the the weddings that are paid for by parents typically have the bigger guest counts? Is that Is that accurate?
Guest: Yes, absolutely. And those that don’t, when the couple is involved, um more financially in their wedding budgets and their parents want to invite like 20 or 30 people, then, you know, that’s when I say, well, are they contributing to the dinner? You know, are they So that’s how you get, you know, the the parents involved financially.
Scott: I I want to ask about inflation as well on just like a per-person basis. Are we seeing that that is affecting the wedding industry kind of along with all the other things in the last couple of years? Are people getting less for more, basically?
Guest: Um, I I don’t I’m not I wouldn’t say that they’re getting less for more, but they’re definitely getting, um, they their their budgets are definitely higher. Um, flowers are more expensive, rentals are every everything is more expensive. I mean, the cost of a linen that was pre 2020 is not the same now. Um, shipping has increased because a lot of people have left the event industry, it has gotten a lot harder and it’s been very, very challenging for our industry to keep really good people involved. Um, and and to do that, you have to pay your staff, you know, higher fees. Um, and and that is also the reason why there’s inflation in our in our industry.
Mindy: So, speaking of inflation, speaking of cost and just everything is getting more expensive. What are some of the most expensive big ticket items at weddings and what are the non-negotiables would you consider?
Guest: I mean, no matter what event I do, whether it’s a fundraiser, a corporate event, or a wedding, my non-negotiables are always AV. You have to have really good audio visual. Um, and great sound. That’s always my non-negotiable. Um, entertainment for sure. And depending on the couple, it’s it’s always the food for me as well. You know, everything else as far as, you know, event flow is important to me, but that’s, you know, not really budget related. Um not necessarily anyway. Um but audio visual, making sure that you have really good sounds, lighting, um, and great entertainment are I think really the non-negotiables.
Mindy: So that that more so than the, I guess DJ or band, that would be under entertainment, right? More so than the actual location or the bride’s dress and all all over all of that type of stuff?
Guest: Absolutely.
Mindy: Okay, then I want to kind of take us a a little bit of a different direction and let’s debunk some myths that we hear out there. So, is it true that booking your wedding super far in advance or really I guess any event can help you save the most money?
Guest: In some situations, a lot of situations, absolutely. Um if you’re um if you’re booking an an event at a location far in advance, um sometimes you can negotiate concessions early on. um and different perks uh when you’re booking early. And as supply and demand get harder, um that’s when venues can add on a higher, you know, room rental fee. Um and have less concessions available to you. So I would definitely say the first thing that you should do really is book your event planner because they’re the ones that are going to negotiate your contract and sometimes when you’re working with a great event planner that can um negotiate your venue in the most proper way, you can that actually pays for the wedding planner in many cases. I mean, you can save um 20, 30, $40,000 on your room rentals, your venue fees, especially if the the planner is savvy enough to negotiate what your um what your what your plate is going to be per person and you will be able to do that in advance, especially if something is booked, you know, early on.
Mindy: I mean, I think that makes sense, right? Hiring your event planner because you don’t know what you don’t know, just like I hire an accountant because I am not the tax expert, right? Like hire the person who knows more than you. Okay, so that is good to know. The other myth that I want busted to see is it true or false? Are there certain seasons or days of the week that are more cost-effective to get married on? Like I feel like with flights, you hear, you know, look at prices on Wednesdays. Those are better. Does that translate to the wedding and or event industry? Are there certain days of the week that are more cost effective?
Guest: Well, weekdays are always more cost effective um than a Saturday, of course, a Friday or Saturday. Um but you know, there are there are also days like Columbus weekend. I feel like um those are also good weekends to get married. Um, so not all holidays are the same. Um but you know, if you’re getting married on a Tuesday, Wednesday, of course, you’re going to get a really good bang for your buck there. You may have the same floral fees, you know, on a Wednesday than you would on a on a Saturday. Um but your room rental, you probably may not, you could probably wave your room rental at a venue um if you if you have it on a on a weekday. Um but then again, there are, there’s always variables there because if you’re booking on a Tuesday, Wednesday in the height of September or October during convention season, then they that might not be the best, you know, venue for you um to in order to receive a um a good, you know, decrease budget.
Scott: Thinking through, um, you know, I think this is this has been a really helpful discussion on thinking through kind of that traditional wedding which is average or maybe even, you know, closer to median for what most people are going to do. Um but I wonder if there’s a population of folks that are listening to Bigger Pockets Money for example, who would love to kind of think through how do I get, you know, much for much cheaper than than the than uh the costs and and budgets that we’ve been talking about here. Have you, have you thought about or heard of or can you point anybody to resources on how to do it in order of magnitude cheaper, maybe have to getting married in your backyard or at a friend’s house or any tips for those types of of weddings?
Guest: I would definitely say still hire an event planner, um and you can hire an event planner not to fully plan your event but as a consultancy, um, relationship instead. Uh where we work with, um, some couples where we are just their um, you know, basically go-to for advice and, you know, for vendors or contracts or um any piece of advice that they want during the planning process and then we’re involved um in the execution, um, the month prior to the wedding. That alone can save the couple a lot of dollars um because, you know, to Amanda’s point, you know, we know our industry like the back of our hands and we can pass off that information along to the couple. Um there are also other ways you can do, you know, the do it yourself kind of um um planning where um if you want to spend the time and and do it yourself, you could do your own centerpieces and that will save you um, you know, a good amount of dollars. Um you could um handle some of the decor and um, you know, and do it yourself and and, you know, save yourself some dollars. But, you know, again, I would definitely make sure that you um put your dollars to to best use with audio visual, um, and um entertainment.
Scott: And how would I go about interviewing one of these wedding planners? Like what’s what are some things to look for? How do I know I’m I’m going to get good when I uh when I go looking and shopping for for someone to help me with plan this event?
Guest: Sure. So you can look at reviews and look at their Instagram pages because you can see what their execution is like. Um, that’s really a really great way to show. You can look at Pinterest, um, Instagram, you know, for that so you can see basically um, the history of the events and the type of events that they that they plan. It’s also a great way to see which planner has the same kind of style that you like, the type of events that you like to execute. Um so that’s a that’s a really great way and you can also, you know, I I don’t like this but you can also, you know, take a lot of ideas from um Instagram and Pinterest as well. Um, but the best way to find the best planner is it’s all about chemistry. So interviewing the planners and seeing which better which which planner, you know, feels the most connected to you and um and then make your decision based off of your in based off of your interview.
Scott: And in all this time, you’ve never had a problem. The events always run smoothly. There’s never like a an issue that comes up at the last minute with uh any of the guests or the bride or the groom or the parents or anything like that.
Guest: Not always issues. You know, sometimes our our couples never know about it, but you know, we this past June, we’ve had a a really crazy uh weather-filled month of June on Nan Tuckett. Every weekend we had the first weekend was like a windstorm. I thought I was in the wizard of Oz and you know, all the the ceiling treatments kept going back and forth like this all night underneath, you know, uh uh basically 100 people on the dance floor and I was like scared and praying at the same time. So I, you know, you have situations like that and then you have rain and I we had the week after we were watching the rain forecast like hourly and we were holding on to our ceremony which was outside and, you know, one of the one person in the wedding party said, I think we should just have the party in the um restaurant. Mind you, the restaurant was really, really small. There’s no way we could have fit everybody into that restaurant because that would have been our backup plan, right? So, um, looked at the radar again and I and I basically made an announcement and I said, okay, everybody, we’re going to load up the shuttles. We’re going to go to the wedding ceremony site really fast. We’re going to get this beautiful couple married and and we’re going to miss the rain. And um, you know, and I called over the efficient and I said, we’re going to do this super fast. No half an hour. Let’s try to get it done in like 15 minutes. And he was all on board. We’re basically um in the shuttles, no lie, the the firetruck shuttle that we were in with the bridal party minus the bride, she was in the Mercedes-Benz, goodness, basically broke down. Yeah, on top of that. So, and it was starting to drizzle, you know, and um we were very close to the the ceremony site. so we just walked up this like slight hill to the ceremony site and everybody was like huddled underneath this big huge tree and everyone was still in disbelief, um that the wedding, that the ceremony was going to go through and I was like, okay, everybody, let’s go to the seats, go to your seats. And uh my other planner is, you know, guided everybody to their seats and we all had our umbrellas for everybody. Um so the ceremony starts and I kid you not, the sky just started to open and we had the most gorgeous photos because some of the raindrops as the wedding party was going down the aisle, looked like little crystals coming down and the in the photosho in the in the photos because of the way the light was hitting it. It was beautiful, but no rain.
Mindy: Get yourself a wedding planner who can control the weather is what I’m hearing.
Guest: They they actually call me the wedding whisperer. So
Mindy: I love it.
Scott: Awesome. Well, where can people find out more about you, AJ, uh Wedding Whisperer Williams?
Guest: Then, thank you very much. Um, they can find me online at A J W events.com. Um, my Instagram also has the same handle A J W events. Um, Facebook and uh Pinterest also, my handle is A J W events. Um, and you can feel free to give me a call or contact me through my website.
Scott: Well, we really enjoyed having you on the show today. Thank you for sharing all of this knowledge about weddings, costs, what to prioritize, what to potentially cut if you’re on a budget and how to think about a lot of the big ticket items here.
Guest: My last tip since you mentioned the um what to cut, I would say another thing that you could cut too is um when you’re doing a tented wedding, if you really needed to, um the big budget cost for a tent would be the flooring. So you could save anywhere from 20 to $30,000 just on the flooring.
Mindy: That’s a pro tip right there.
Guest: Yeah.
Scott: Well, we really appreciate having you on the show. Thanks for that extra tip. And um, we hope you have a wonderful rest of your week and um I’m sure a busy weekend coming up.
Guest: Yes, thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Scott: All right, that was AJ Williams. Amanda, what did you think?
Mindy: Oh my gosh, I loved it. That was so interesting. All the, like I said, all the insider tips and tricks that she had, I feel like is so beneficial to everyone because you don’t know what you don’t know.
Scott: Yeah, I mean, you know, even having been been through it all, you know, there’s tons tons of stuff to learn here. So, um, I I hope this helps a lot of people who are planning uh their their wedding or have friends who are going to plan their weddings. Um, we did have a our wonderful team pull a couple of stats for us that I thought were interesting and might be fun to share. Um, a couple of them, you know, and I’ll read off a couple of them here and we can kind of react to them. But these are stats from The Knot and the biggest items to budget for when it comes to the total cost of wedding are first the venue, which is 37% of the total cost. After that, it’s the catering at 29% of the cost. Then it’s the band or music at 13% of the cost and everything else falls under 10%, which includes the rings, flowers, decorations, photography, uh, so on and so forth. What, does that surprise you? What what do you think of that?
Mindy: I feel like that sounds pretty spot on. I’m like sitting here trying to remember the like specific details of mine and I think that sounds pretty right. The venue, especially if you have to, you know, pay for the actual space. For us, we did it at a boutique hotel. So as long as we rented out all of the rooms, we didn’t actually have to pay a venue fee. So I think that’s one way you could get around a really huge cost, um is having people pay for their own rooms, doing it someplace like that. But the catering, yeah, absolutely, like that ate up a lot of the budget. Um, food and drink can be expensive. What about you?
Scott: Yeah, I mean, I I guess I guess it makes sense and I think it also highlights just an opportunity. Um, you know, to what AJ was saying, you know, the the I, I, I wonder if, you know, the things that you remember aren’t exactly what she said, the little surprises and wrinkles you pull in the, you know, instead of spending x amount on the catering or the venue, if you bring in the bag pipes, you know, uh, in the middle of the dance floor or whatever that fun thing is. Maybe those are are ways if you’re really trying to make a memorable wedding on a budget, uh, to maybe you can cut out some of the 80/20 there and invest more in the 20 and maybe maybe uh, maybe folks will remember more of it.
Mindy: How about this one? 20 28% of couples take on debt to pay for their weddings from according to Business Insider. What what do you think about that one?
I find it not surprising, but I find it really sad too because I think your friends and family would not want you going into debt for that day, right? It’s, but people say, oh, it’s one day. No, it is one very special day, but there you don’t need the nicest of everything. I think it’s sitting down with your partner, getting really clear on what your most important things to each of you are and like sticking to your guns because it can like get totally out of control, but it does not surprise me. What about you?
Scott: I I don’t think it surprises me either and I think like, you know, I I think, you know, Scott from, you know, 2026-year-old Scott would have said, this is atrocious, what’s going on here. Um but, you know, I I recently read uh Die with Zero and, you know, while I still wouldn’t go in to debt for a wedding personally and think that that’s that’s really sad and I agree with you, um, you shouldn’t do it, you know, for friends and family’s sake. Um, some people may prioritize this so much that they want to make sure that this day is as a memory that they have burned into their for for, you know, burned into them for life. So, I, I, I think it’s gonna be a tough call and um, I certainly would not recommend it and hope hope people more people avoid that. Um, but I, I can see it for for some folks who really, who, you know, who who really make this this moment in particular to be that that perfect memory for the rest of their lives.
Mindy: Yeah, I think it just comes down to intentional spending, right? So if you have been dreaming about your wedding since you’ve been five years old and you want to go all out, no judgment. You do, you do you, boo, right? Like you go all out, but I think rather than taking on debt, I would rather you wait one more year and save for it appropriately, um, because, you know, that type of debt, it’s just, I don’t think it’s worth it. It can really like snowball you backwards and derail other plans and, you know, it’s, it’s one day of your life. So just make it next year.
Scott: Yeah, I I completely agree. That’s exactly what I what I would do. Um, I I just I’m not surprised by the by the stat and can maybe empathize with it in a few cases, but certainly not recommend it. This is not the type of debt you want, um, uh to be carrying for the next couple of years and it may even sour the the memory of that wedding if you’re still paying off that debt in a few months or years after it happens. Yeah.
Mindy: All righty. Well, thank you so much for being my co-host today, Amanda. It was great to catch up and um really really appreciate it. Should we get out of here?
Yeah, let’s do it. Thanks for having me.
Scott: All right, uh she is Amanda Wolf and I am Scott Trench saying hit the road. Happy Toad.
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please give us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple. And if you’re looking for even more money content, feel free to visit our YouTube channel at youtube.com/biggerpocketsmoney. Bigger Pockets Money was created by Mindy Jensen and Scott Trench, produced by Kalyn Bennett, editing by Exodus Media, copywriting by Nate Weintraub. Lastly, a big thank you to the Bigger Pockets team for making this show possible.”
